The New Fun: Staying In vs. Going Out at 50

Remember when going out was the highlight of the week? You’d get ready like you were preparing for a magazine cover shoot, stay out until dawn, and somehow, miraculously, roll into work the next day with a cup of coffee and a smile. Those were the days, weren’t they? But now, as a woman in my 50s, going out just isn’t what it used to be, and I’ve been trying to figure out why. Spoiler alert: it’s not just the wrinkles (though they’re definitely part of the equation).

Here’s why going out has changed, and why, frankly, I’d rather stay in with Netflix and my stretchy pants most nights.

1. The Effort-to-Fun Ratio is Way Off

Back in the day, getting ready to go out was an event in itself. You’d spend hours perfecting your hair, picking the right outfit, and convincing yourself that the painful heels were worth it because they made your legs look amazing. And you know what? It was worth it! You felt fabulous, and the night was full of endless possibilities.

Now? I can barely convince myself to put on real pants after 6 p.m., let alone a full face of makeup. Heels? Forget it. If a shoe isn’t squishy, slip-on, and orthopedically approved, I’m not interested. The idea of spending two hours primping just to be uncomfortable all night is exhausting. I’d rather be comfortable in my sweats and face mask, thanks.

2. The “Scene” Has Changed… And So Have I

Let’s be honest: going out these days feels like walking into an alternate universe where everyone is 25 and dressed like they’ve just rolled out of a TikTok video. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to remember where I left my readers and wondering why the now weird sounding music is so loud that it’s making my bones vibrate. Do I really need to feel the bass in my ribcage? No, thank you.

Plus, bars used to be filled with people my own age. Now, it’s like I’ve wandered into a college reunion I wasn’t invited to. The “scene” has become more of a “who am I kidding?” situation. It’s hard to feel excited about going out when the majority of the crowd looks like they could be my kids… or worse, grandkids. Yikes.

3. The Hangovers Last For Days

I used to be able to drink margaritas like they were water and still bounce back the next morning with nothing but a slight headache and a craving for greasy food. Those days are long gone. Now, if I have more than two glasses of wine, I wake up feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus — and the recovery time? Two to three business days, minimum.

When did this happen? Who decided that hangovers in midlife should be more punishing than my teenage mistakes? I used to be able to rally after a night out; now, I need a recovery plan. Hydration, painkillers, electrolytes, maybe a nap… it’s like I’m preparing for battle, not a casual night out.

4. “Fun” Has New Definitions

Let’s be real, my definition of fun has changed drastically since I was younger. Back then, fun meant staying out all night, dancing until my feet hurt, and laughing with friends over one-too-many cocktails. Now? Fun is a good night’s sleep, waking up without back pain, and having enough energy to get through a day without multiple cups of coffee.

Going out used to be an escape, but these days, I’m just as excited about coming back home early enough to unwind. You know what sounds fun? A quiet night with my favorite shows, a glass of wine, and no one asking me to “just come out for one more drink.” It’s the small things, really.

5. The Socializing Feels Like a Marathon

Remember when you could talk to anyone at a party, and it was all fun and games? Now, small talk feels like work. I don’t have the energy to smile and nod while pretending to care about someone’s keto diet or their new skincare routine made from crushed unicorn tears.

Socializing used to be easy, but now it feels like I’m running a marathon — mentally. Between remembering people’s names, keeping up with conversations about things I couldn’t care less about, and pretending I’m still interested after 9 p.m., it’s exhausting. Half the time, I’d rather just skip the whole charade and go to bed early with a good podcast.

6. My “Outfits” Have Changed… Drastically

In my 20s, going out meant squeezing into tight dresses, sky-high heels, and the latest trendy ensemble that was guaranteed to make heads turn. Now, “going out” attire means “jeans that don’t pinch” and a top that’s comfortable enough to last the night but still makes me look like I’ve put in some effort. Bonus points if I can wear a jacket to hide the fact that I’ve given up on uncomfortable bras.

The wardrobe has shifted, people. I’m not here to impress anymore; I’m here to survive. Comfort is queen, and if that means I’m skipping the dress for a cozy sweater, then so be it. My 20-year-old self would be horrified, but my 50-year-old self? Thriving.

7. The Planning Feels Like a Military Operation

Going out used to be spontaneous. Someone would call, and in 30 minutes you were dressed and ready to hit the town. Now? It’s like organizing a major military operation. First, there’s the group text to coordinate schedules — and that’s already an uphill battle because everyone has a million commitments. By the time you’ve nailed down a date, you’re already tired.

Then comes the logistics: Who’s driving? Are we Ubering? What’s the parking situation? What time do we need to leave to avoid a crowd? By the time I’ve figured all that out, I’m ready for bed. Spontaneity was fun; now, planning an outing feels like a full-time job.

Conclusion: Home is Where the Fun Is

Going out in midlife isn’t just different, it’s work. Between the planning, the loud music, the awkward small talk, and the sheer effort it takes to pull myself together, it’s no wonder I’d rather stay in. Fun doesn’t mean the same thing it did when I was younger, and you know what? I’m okay with that. Give me a cozy night in, a good movie, and maybe a little wine, and I’m perfectly content.

Going out used to be an adventure, but now the adventure is finding a great show on Netflix and falling asleep before midnight — and honestly? That sounds like the perfect night.

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