Ladies, let’s address the porcelain elephant in the room: why, oh why, can’t men master the simple art of bathroom etiquette? For centuries (okay, decades, but it feels eternal), we’ve endured the horrors of the lifted toilet seat and the rogue dribbles that haunt bathroom floors. This is our moment to say what we’ve all been thinking.
Gentlemen, gather around the porcelain throne, because we need to have a serious talk. For too long, you’ve been waging a silent war in our bathrooms, leaving behind collateral damage that no one asked for. This is an intervention, a declaration, and yes—a plea for peace.
Let’s Talk About the Toilet Seat, aka The Launchpad of Doom
Why is it so hard to put the seat down? It’s not a 50-pound weight; it’s literally a piece of plastic attached to hinges. And yet, here we are, falling in at 2 a.m. like we’re trying to join an underground polar plunge society. Let me be clear: no one, I repeat, no one, wants an unplanned butt bath. Lowering the seat isn’t just polite—it’s life-saving.
The Dribble Debacle: Are You Watering the Floor?
Now, onto the dribbles. Oh, the dribbles. Are you standing five feet back for a long-distance challenge? Are you secretly trying to draw constellations in pee? Because it’s starting to feel like a scene from a bad nature documentary: And here we see the male in his natural habitat, marking his territory with complete disregard for shared living spaces.
It’s 2025, men. We have self-driving cars and robots that can vacuum. Surely, you can master the art of aiming and wiping. Fun fact: toilet paper was invented in 1857. Use it.
Flushing: It’s Not Optional
Let’s not tiptoe around this one. How is it possible to “forget” to flush? You don’t forget to turn off the car. You don’t forget to zip your pants (well, usually). So why is pulling a handle so challenging? Is it the sound? The motion? The sheer responsibility? Gentlemen, this is not a carnival game. It’s a courtesy. Let’s work together to make every bathroom a dooty-free zone.
We’re Done Being Silent Heroes
We’ve wiped up after you. We’ve lowered the seat without a word. We’ve stepped in mystery puddles and survived. But today, we rise. Today, we demand better. No more dribbles. No more unflushed horrors. And for the love of all things holy, no more leaving the seat up.
Because a bathroom should be a sanctuary, not a splash zone. Let’s make it happen, men. We’re counting on you.
Sincerely,
Women Everywhere (and the brave souls cleaning your messes).
#DootyFreeZone #BathroomBattles #ToiletSeatSaga #CleanUpCrew #BathroomEtiquette
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