Fun is subjective, right? Some people unwind with yoga or knitting, while others binge entire Netflix seasons in a single weekend. But me? I like to keep things a little more… unconventional. Whether it’s putting on high-stakes squirrel fashion shows, pretending I can buy castles in Scotland, or turning every coffee outing into an amateur spy drama with my son, I fully embrace the absurd. Life’s too short to take everything seriously, so I’ve mastered the art of ridiculous entertainment.
Sure, some of these might make you raise an eyebrow (or both), but isn’t that the point? Fun doesn’t have to be practical—it just has to be memorable. So, without further ado, here are five wildly outrageous ways I keep myself entertained. Warning: once you start hosting squirrel runways or analyzing Flip-Flop Guy’s every move, you might not be able to stop.
1. Host underground fashion shows for squirrels.
Every Saturday at precisely 3 p.m., the neighborhood squirrels gather on the backyard fence for the most exclusive event of the season: Squirrel Fashion Week. This isn’t just nuts—it’s couture. Last week, Sir Nuttersworth debuted a stunning acorn beret paired with a pinecone belt that had everyone in awe. Meanwhile, Lady Chestnut nearly started a scandal with her avant-garde leaf gown that dared to include twigs (gasp!). We’re in negotiations with Vogue. By “negotiations,” I mean I tagged them on Instagram. No response yet, but hope springs eternal.
2. Aggressively reorganize my spice rack alphabetically… but in French.
Because regular alphabetical order is for amateurs. Why settle for “Paprika” when you can say “Pimentón” with a dramatic flourish? Each spice gets announced like it’s entering a royal ball. “Monsieur Poivre Noir! Mademoiselle Cannelle!” The cumin gets a standing ovation every time. By the time I’m done, I’ve forgotten what I needed spices for, but I feel like Julia Child’s eccentric cousin who lives in a villa somewhere exotic. It’s the kind of chaos Martha Stewart would be proud of. Probably.
3. Stalk online real estate listings I can’t afford.
Look, I’m not technically in the market for a $25 million oceanfront villa in Malibu with a 14-car garage and a pool shaped like a flamingo, but a girl can dream. I scroll through Zillow like it’s a dating app, except instead of “swiping right,” I’m whispering, “Someday, you’ll be mine.” I’ve mentally decorated three castles in Scotland, four penthouses in Manhattan, and one suspiciously cheap property in Transylvania (haunted or a fixer-upper? Either way, I’m intrigued). My browser history screams, “Delusional but fabulous.”
4. Train my dog to act like a Netflix CEO.
Her leadership style is bold, innovative, and fueled entirely by snacks. Decisions are made by dramatically tilting her head and barking at random. She canceled a whole genre of shows (no more crime dramas) and greenlit an experimental series starring squirrels (she’s heard of my fashion show connections). When she’s not “working,” she’s napping on the couch like the visionary she is. I’m pretty sure her new tagline is “Woof. Watch. Repeat.” Pawflix will be available for streaming in 2026.
5. Convince myself I’m a detective while people-watching.
This is no ordinary hobby—it’s a mission. My son and I are like a fashion-forward version of Cagney & Lacey, minus the badges but with plenty of sass. Armed with oversized sunglasses, a notebook, and an unhealthy obsession with uncovering imaginary scandals, we stake out coffee shops, parks, and grocery store parking lots. Everyone is a suspect, and every outfit is a potential clue.
Take Flip-Flop Guy, for example. You know the one—rocking socks with flip-flops in 45-degree weather, pacing back and forth like he’s either waiting for a secret handoff or seriously regretting his footwear choices. Is he signaling to a secret society of mismatched fashion rebels? Was he betrayed by a sneaker brand and is now staging a one-man protest? My son leans over and whispers, “What if he’s a spy… but bad at it?” I nod. “Or what if he’s an undercover stylist, and this is his disguise?” The theories just keep coming.
Then there’s Baguette Lady. She pulled an entire loaf of French bread out of her purse like it was the most normal thing in the world. Clearly, she’s the mastermind of a carb-smuggling ring. Or how about the man we once saw having a full-blown conversation with his cat on a leash? We’re still debating whether the cat was his informant or his accomplice.
This isn’t just people-watching—it’s our sport. Every latte-fueled outing is a chance to solve another imaginary case. Flip-Flop Guy, we’re onto you. And if you see us sitting in the corner with our sunglasses and smirks, don’t mind us—we’re just working the case.
Now it’s your turn! What hilariously quirky hobbies do you have? Share your stories in the comments—I’m dying to hear if Flip-Flop Guy has cousins.Now it’s your turn! What hilariously quirky hobbies do you have? Share your stories in the comments—I’m dying to hear if Flip-Flop Guy has cousins.
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