There’s something funny about being asked if I’m a leader or a follower—as if we’re choosing sides in a game of Red Rover.
Well, darling, that depends—are we talking about on stage, in stilettos, or in a crisis?
But here’s the truth: I’ve been both. And I’ve done it in heels – and sometimes simultaneously.
Let’s get one thing straight: leadership isn’t just barking orders like a deranged group chat admin. It’s knowing when to speak up, when to listen, and when to quietly move the universe from behind the curtain while everyone else is busy performing. I’ve led from the front row, the back row, and the hospital waiting room. I’ve led by showing up when it was inconvenient, unglamorous, or emotionally messy.
Leadership isn’t always about being the loudest voice in the room or charging into battle with a sword made of spreadsheets. Sometimes, it’s about knowing when to speak—and when to let someone else take the mic. It’s reading the room, not commanding it. It’s guiding from behind the scenes, even if all anyone sees is the perfectly coordinated outfit.
I’ve led in courtrooms, backstage, and boardrooms. I’ve been the calm in the chaos, the strategist in stilettos. I’ve advocated for people who couldn’t find the words and stood firm when no one else would. I’ve built brands, communities, and confidence—and I’ve done it while holding someone’s hand through cancer, grief, or their own self-doubt.
But let’s not sleep on the power of following.
I’ve followed ideas that scared me. I’ve followed paths lit by intuition and moonlight and a vague sense of “this might be the breakdown before the breakthrough.” I’ve followed Google Maps, and once, a drag queen named Champagne when she shouted, “Trust me!” (She was right, by the way.) I’ve followed experts, mentors, gut feelings, and cosmic nudges. I’ve followed signs that said “this way” when logic said “don’t bother.” I’ve followed intuition, even when it wore combat boots and looked suspiciously like a breakdown. And sometimes, I’ve followed just to learn the steps—so I could teach them better later.
Being a leader doesn’t mean you never follow. It means you choose who and what you follow with intention. And being a follower doesn’t mean you’re passive. It means you’re learning, watching, absorbing—getting ready.
I lead with grit, grace, and a spreadsheet that could win awards. I follow with discernment, curiosity, and a readiness to grow—because real leaders know when to sit down, take notes, and clap for someone else.
We’re not in some black-and-white career quiz from a 2004 teen magazine. We’re grown. We adapt. We lead where we’re needed, we follow when it’s wise, and we sashay out when the energy is off.
So no, I’m not choosing between leader or follower.
I’m the whole damn spectrum Fiercely. Fluidly. Authentically—and with better shoes.
Because sometimes the leader is the one who says, “You go first.”
And sometimes the follower is the one who whispers, “Keep going. I’ve got you.”
✨ Your Turn:
Are you a leader, a follower… or a vibe all your own?
Drop a comment, tag a friend, and come find your people in the Voguegenics community.
Let’s be unapologetically multifaceted together.
👉 Join the Gen V Podcast movement
👉 Follow @voguegenics everywhere
👉 Start your own glow-up
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