Because why say “bored” when you could say “groak”?
English is a tricky language, constantly evolving, absorbing new words, and tragically casting aside old ones. But here’s the thing: some of those old words are so deliciously quirky and weird, they deserve to be resurrected! Let’s dust off these 30 forgotten gems, so the next time someone tries to tell you “lol” is a real word, you can hit them with a proper lexical bomb. Trust me, these words are going to make you look like Shakespeare’s cooler, funnier cousin. Imagine the satisfaction of watching jaws drop as you effortlessly weave words like “quockerwodger” and “crumple-horn” into your everyday conversations. Not only will these words elevate your vocabulary, but they will also provide a delightful escape from the mundane expressions we find ourselves using all too often. Embrace the linguistic relics of the past, and who knows? You might just start a trend that sees these whimsical words enjoying a renaissance of their own. Let’s celebrate the richness of the English language by giving these delightful old words the spotlight they deserve once more!
1. Cockalorum
Definition: A boastful little man.
Use it when: Your friend keeps bragging about winning second place in trivia night.
“Calm down, Gary. No one cares about your runner-up status, you cockalorum.”
2. Bibble
Definition: To eat or drink noisily.
Use it when: You’re sitting across from someone who believes every meal is an ASMR performance.
“I love you, but if you keep bibbling like that, I’m going to move to a different continent.”
3. Snoutfair
Definition: A good-looking person.
Use it when: You want to compliment someone in a way that makes them question your sanity.
“You’re quite the snoutfair tonight, aren’t you? Did you Bibble right before you got here?”
4. Curglaff
Definition: The shock you feel when first plunging into cold water.
Use it when: You want to describe that moment of horror when the ocean is much colder than you thought.
“I jumped in and let out a screech that could only be described as a curglaff.”
5. Jargogle
Definition: To confuse or jumble.
Use it when: You attempt to put together IKEA furniture, and three hours later it looks like modern art.
“Are you trying to build a shelf or are you just jargogling the instructions?”
6. Groak
Definition: To stare at someone while they’re eating in the hope they’ll give you some.
Use it when: Your dog is giving you “the look” at dinner.
“Stop groaking at me. This steak is mine.”
7. Resistentialism
Definition: The theory that inanimate objects are out to get you.
Use it when: Your phone falls off the table for the third time today, all on its own.
“Don’t mind me, just having another battle with resistentialism. My charger hates me.”
8. Snecklifter
Definition: Someone who tries to sneak into a pub without paying.
Use it when: Your friend “forgets” their wallet every single time you go out.
“Oh, look, it’s Brad the snecklifter again, ‘accidentally’ leaving his card at home.”
9. Twitter-light
Definition: The dim light of twilight, especially romantic or picturesque.
Use it when: You’re feeling poetic about the sunset but don’t want to sound too sappy.
“We strolled through the park in the twitter-light…until he started groaking at my sandwich.”
10. Quomodocunquize
Definition: To make money in any way possible.
Use it when: Someone tries to sell you pyramid scheme vitamins on Facebook.
“Sounds like a great business plan, Sharon. How long have you been quomodocunquizing?”
Are you not entertained yet? Don’t worry, we’re just warming up. Here are 20 more words to tickle your tongue (and confuse your friends).
11. Fudgel
Definition: Pretending to work when you’re actually doing nothing at all.
Use it when: You catch your coworker staring blankly at a spreadsheet for hours.
“Ah, I see you’re practicing the ancient art of fudgel.”
12. Spermologer
Definition: A person who collects trivia or useless information.
Use it when: You realize your entire knowledge of ‘90s sitcoms has no real-world application.
“Who’s ready to take on the spermologer challenge? First question: Name all 37 Seinfeld side characters.”
13. Wamble
Definition: Your stomach growling or rumbling.
Use it when: You’re 10 minutes into a meeting, and you haven’t eaten since yesterday.
“Sorry, that’s just my stomach wambling. I skipped breakfast…and lunch.”
14. Tittynope
Definition: A small amount of something left over.
Use it when: Someone leaves a pathetic amount of chips in the bag.
“I’m sorry, did you just put the tittynope of the fries back in the kitchen? Disgraceful.”
15. Ultracrepidarian
Definition: A person who gives opinions beyond their knowledge.
Use it when: Your cousin who took one semester of psychology is diagnosing everyone at the family reunion.
“Thanks for the unsolicited advice, you ultracrepidarian.”
16. Hugger-mugger
Definition: A secretive, sneaky act.
Use it when: You spot someone whispering and giggling in the corner.
“What kind of hugger-mugger are you two plotting over there?”
17. Perissology
Definition: The use of more words than necessary.
Use it when: You’re proofreading a 3,000-word essay that could have been 300 words.
“Great essay, but the perissology is strong with this one.”
18. Slubberdegullion
Definition: A filthy slobbering person.
Use it when: You walk into your friend’s apartment, and it looks like a tornado passed through.
“Wow, so you’re just living like a slubberdegullion now, huh?”
19. Zounderkite
Definition: A complete idiot.
Use it when: Your friend accidentally locks themselves out of their car while the keys are in their hand.
“I can’t believe you did that again, you absolute zounderkite.”
20. Callipygian
Definition: Having beautifully shaped buttocks.
Use it when: You’re trying to compliment someone’s gym progress in the most bizarre way possible.
“Looking especially callipygian today! Squats are paying off!”
21. Mumpsimus
Definition: Someone who insists on making the same mistake over and over.
Use it when: Your buddy STILL insists “irregardless” is a word.
“Listen, you mumpsimus, it’s just ‘regardless.’”
22. Grumbletonian
Definition: A person who is always unhappy with the government.
Use it when: That one friend of yours can’t go five minutes without a political rant.
“Oh, here we go again. The resident Grumbletonian has entered the chat.”
23. Drapetomania
Definition: An overwhelming urge to run away.
Use it when: You’re at a family reunion, and Uncle Jerry just brought out the guitar.
“I felt a strong case of drapetomania the moment I heard the first chord of ‘Wonderwall.’”
24. Merry-go-sorry
Definition: A combination of joy and sorrow.
Use it when: You finish the last episode of your favorite series.
“I’m experiencing some serious merry-go-sorry right now. How am I supposed to live without this show?”
25. Lanspresado
Definition: Someone who shows up with no money.
Use it when: You’re planning a trip, and your friend pipes up with, “I’ll pay you back next time.”
“Oh great, looks like we’ve got another lanspresado on board.”
26. Frobly-mobly
Definition: Feeling neither well nor ill.
Use it when: Someone asks how you’re doing, and you don’t want to launch into a full medical report.
“I’m feeling a bit frobly-mobly today. Thanks for asking.”
27. Quafftide
Definition: A time for drinking.
Use it when: You’ve had a long week and need a little pick-me-up.
“It’s officially qua fftide. Someone bring out the wine.”
28. Blutterbunged
Definition: To be shocked or flabbergasted.
Use it when: You find out your favorite artist is releasing a surprise album tonight.
“I was absolutely blutterbunged when I heard the news!”
29. Lickspittle
Definition: A toady or flatterer.
Use it when: You see someone overly complimenting the boss during a meeting.
“Another compliment, Jim? You’re such a lickspittle.”
30. Zwodder
Definition: A drowsy and fuzzy state of mind.
Use it when: You’ve woken up on a Monday morning, and coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. I’m still in a zwodder.”
There you have it – 30 forgotten words that are begging to be revived. Start dropping them into conversation, and watch as people either think you’re a genius or question whether you’ve fallen through a time portal. Either way, you’ll be the cockalorum of your friend group! Not only will you impress your peers with your extensive vocabulary, but you’ll also help preserve the beauty and richness of the English language. By bringing these archaic terms back into use, you’ll be keeping a part of linguistic history alive. So, why not sprinkle your dialogue with some unique verbiage and see how it transforms your everyday interactions? You might even inspire others to delve into the world of forgotten words, creating a ripple effect that rejuvenates our collective lexicon.
What are some words you’d like to see brought back? Tell me in the comments below.
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