Easy. I’d be Morticia Addams—graceful, gothic, glamorous, and entirely unbothered by the chaos of the world. I mean, come on. She drapes herself in black velvet, speaks fluent French at breakfast, and somehow manages to make a greenhouse full of deadly plants look like a botanical spa retreat. Goals.
Morticia is the queen of calm under pressure. A bat flies through the living room? She welcomes it. Wednesday starts a small revolution at summer camp? She applauds the initiative. Gomez declares his undying love for the 87th time before lunch? She swoons like it’s the first time. She’s mysterious and elegant, but not afraid to get a little delightfully weird when the moment calls for it.
More importantly, she embodies something I deeply admire: complete self-possession. She’s not trying to fit into anyone else’s world—she builds her own castle (preferably haunted), surrounds herself with eccentricity, and runs the show while sipping tea in lace gloves. I don’t need to fight off dragons or wear a tiara. I just want a deep red lip, a sharper-than-thou stare, and the confidence to say “darling, we’re Addamses—we thrive in the dark” while the world burns down outside.
Besides, if you’re going to channel anyone while you power through 800 digital product uploads and tech glitches, it might as well be someone who could rewire your WooCommerce with a flick of her perfectly manicured nail.
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