When You’re Drowning in Caregiver Guilt

Lesson One

There’s a version of you who once had time to exhale.

She read books for pleasure. She went places without planning. She laughed at things that weren’t ironic.

Now, you hesitate to breathe too deeply because it feels like someone always needs you. And you say yes—even when it costs you sleep, peace, health, joy—because how could you possibly say no?

You love them.

That’s not in question. You’d drop everything for them—and you have. You’ve canceled plans, forgotten meals, slept on floors, Googled symptoms at 3AM. You’ve smiled while shattering inside. You’ve said, “I’m fine,” when you weren’t.

And still, somehow, you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Welcome to caregiver guilt.

You may be caring for a parent, a partner, a child, a friend, or maybe several of them at once. You might be the one they all count on, the one who knows the medications, the moods, the meal plans, the doctor’s voice on the other end of the line. You may have become so essential to someone else’s survival that you forgot you deserve your own.

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Guilt sneaks in when you take five minutes for yourself. It shames you when you wish, just for a second, that things were different. It lies and says: You’re selfish. You’re weak. You’re not doing enough.

I know that voice.

When my days were spent decoding medical charts and watching machines blink in dim ICU rooms, I didn’t feel strong—I felt like I was failing. Even when I knew I wasn’t. Even when I was the glue holding everything together.

But here’s the truth: you’re doing more than enough.
You’re carrying weight that would break most people. And still, you show up.

Let me say this loud and clear:
You are not selfish. You are not weak. You are already doing too much.

That deserves grace. That deserves rest. That deserves someone looking you in the eye and saying: “You’re allowed to be tired. You’re allowed to be human. And you are not alone.”

You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to feel resentful sometimes. You are allowed to miss the version of you that didn’t have to carry this much.

So if you’ve been running on fumes with guilt as your co-pilot, I invite you to do one thing today:

Put down the guilt. Pick up grace instead.

You are not alone.

🕯️ Today’s Reflection Prompt:

What are you carrying right now that no one else sees? And how can you honor the part of you that’s doing it anyway?

Write. Whisper. Cry. Or just sit with the question. You don’t have to fix anything today. You just have to feel it.

📥 Download Today’s Power Page:

This lesson’s Power Page includes space to unpack guilt, shift self-talk, and track your caregiving wins (yes, you have them). Your printable journaling sheet to process caregiver guilt and gently reconnect with yourself.

👉 Download Lesson 1 Power Page

🔁 Next Up:

Lesson 2 → When Everyone Needs You—And You Need Space (coming soon)

💬 Share this lesson or follow along with us on Instagram or X. Tag @voguegenics with #YoureNotAloneSeries

Dorey Duncan Scott Senior Litigation Paralegal

Hi! I’m Dorey Duncan Scott, a mother of three, wife and fashion entrepreneur. I started my career in fashion back in the early 90’s when I did print, still and runway modeling. I studied Fashion Merchandising, Music Business and Marketing, while also obtaining certificates in such industry-necessary areas such as make-up, styling and runway choreography. In addition, I had work as a spokesmodel for several brands, appearing in print and in person. As a former model, turned senior litigation paralegal, artist manager and on-air personality with a passion for fashion, beauty, and personal development, I bring a unique combination of style, strategic thinking, and legal expertise to my work. My years navigating the legal world have sharpened my attention to detail, while my experience and passion for fashion, beauty, and personal development drives my desire to help others feel empowered and help them in their journey toward self-empowerment. My experience in the fashion world has taught me the power of confidence. 

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